Flaming HELL
by firexkitsune
Summary: When Fushigi Yuugi and Yu Yu Hakusho have a shipwreck, Hiei and Tasuki, our fire lovers are stranded on a wooded island. will they get out or burn the place and kill each other?
1. Ideal Conditions for Disaster

Flaming Hell  
  
Two ships head towards the same island, one an ancient Chinese junk, chock full of seven powerful fighters, protecting a silly little glutton girl. The other is more modern, guided by four young fighters, their older mentor, and a few random girls. Although their destinations different, due to circumstances beyond their control, cough* a certain lightning controlling bad girl, incompetent crew, etc, they both were headed towards a certain wooded island. This place, covered in lush jungle, steamy hot pools and foaming waterfalls was truly the Eden of Earth. Well it was. Until off the shore, a small accident occurred, involving the two opposite boats and teams.  
"Big oaf! You really think you are capable of steering this ship through this storm?" Hiei growled, leaning back on the rails, slightly amused.  
"Shrimp! I'm sure I can. It's no harder than controlling my radio control toys." Kuwabara replied, grinning and not paying attention to the lightning ahead. "Whoops." He grinned again, sheepishly.  
"Maybe I should take over?" Kurama suggested, aware that Hiei would only be amused for so long.  
"Yes, let a competent one take over and get us out of this idiotic storm." Hiei muttered, rolling his eyes.  
"Speaking of storm, this does not seem like the work of nature." Kurama observed.  
"Of course not." Genkai, their "mentor" snapped. "It's obviously the work of someone's chi, but who?"  
Meanwhile, a cloaked and hooded Soi cackled manically in the air. Of course, the Yu Yu Hakusho crew didn't notice this at all. Aboard the other ship, a monk with a silly mask was furiously praying for safety.  
"You think this will help, no da?" Chichiri asked nervously, the sweat dripping between his clasped palms.  
"No, he's going to keep throwing up forever. It's no use." Nuriko sighed, glancing away as he held a bucket to his side, where a slightly green Tasuki puked into now and then.  
"I was raised in the mountains! I've never been near the water! Whaddya expect?" Tasuki grumbled. "I think I'm better now."  
"Well you better be." Nuriko muttered. "You threw up for the whole trip so far."  
"Not my fault that healer didn't have a cure for seasickness." Tasuki pointed at Mitsukake.  
"Hmm?" Mitsukake turned around innocently.  
"We must dock! Who's captaining this vessel, no da." Chichiri shouted, interrupting the arguing.  
"Tamahome." Tasuki started, then noticed him with Miaka a few feet away. "Never mind."  
"You irresponsible brat!" Nuriko lashed out at him. "We could have DIED! I could have RUINED my pretty dress!"  
"I though Chiriko and Hotohori had it all handled." Tamahome stopped touching Miaka for a few seconds.  
"Hotohori is still at the palace!" Nuriko shouted, his arms waving around, trying to get Tamahome's attention.  
"And ya know Chiriko's little problem." Tasuki added in a whisper.  
"Yeah, yeah." Tamahome rolled his eyes. "I'll go."  
"Soi's lightning is tearing up our ship, no da." Chichiri ignored the others. "We must land on that island."  
"Aye aye!" Tamahome let go of the steering wheel in a mock salute.  
"Tamahome! Watch out!" Miaka rushed towards him. "What's that other ship?"  
Aboard the other sailing catastrophe, Hiei was clearly aggravated at Kuwabara's attempts at captaining the vessel. Peace would not last for long, especially with the increasing storm.  
"Someone's chi?" Kurama scratched his head in thought. "But who can control the heavens?"  
"Someone not from our world it seems." Genkai paced nervously. "And if they continue, we won't have any ship anymore." She passed a snoring Yusuke and slammed him on the head.  
"OW! You old hag! What was that for?" Yusuke rubbed his smarting head.  
"Try to make sure those two don't kill each other, ok?" Kurama joked, but with seriousness in his voice. "Genkai and I must discuss this strange supernatural thunderstorm."  
"Sure whatever." Yusuke yawned and trudged towards Hiei and Kuwabara.  
"Now if we land at that island over there." Genkai muttered to herself.  
"Genkai?" Keiko peeked her head out of the door. "Are we there yet? Do you need any help?"  
Glare*  
"Uh.Keiko, why don't you help Yusuke and the others steer this thing?" Kurama suggested, and pushed Keiko off to the side. "Genkai, this storm is wrecking our boat. We must land now!"  
"Yusuke! Hiei! Big oaf! Land this thing immediately!" Genkai called out and left.  
"Well that works too." Kurama grinned nervously. Sweatdrop* He begins to walk away, but turns around at the last moment. Something bothered him.must be that huge ancient Chinese junk speeding right towards them.  
"Yusuke! Hiei! Kuwabara! Keiko! Genkai! Watch out!" He shouted and pointed at the approaching vessel. "There's a ship about to hit us! Turn the other way!" Unfortunately, a loud clap of thunder prevented the others from hearing him, so he sprinted to the wheel and turned it furiously.  
"Hey! Kurama! What do you think you're doing?" Kuwabara stopped fighting for one second.  
"That junk is about to." Kurama started to explain, still concentrating on steering.  
"What junk?? What's a junk?" Kuwabara glanced around wildly.  
"Idiot." Hiei snickered.  
"An ancient Chinese ship!" Kurama cried in vain.  
"Huh?" Kuwabara didn't get it.  
"Aw shut up and let the man steer!" Yusuke smacked him. "Come on! Let's fight!"  
"Baka ningen." Hiei glared towards the junk. "It's no use, Kurama. It's going to hit us and kill all the humans.how dreadful."  
"Well I have to try at least!" Kurama gave it another spin, but the violent winds of the storm blew the ship off course anyway.  
At the same time, Chichiri, the only semi-intelligent one of the Suzaku crew cried, "We're going to crash no matter what. We can't control this ship under such terrible conditions, no da."  
"Well aren't you Mr. Optimistic." Tamahome grumbled.  
"Well, if SOMEONE hint hint, did their job of maneuvering this junk, we wouldn't be in this mess!" Nuriko scolded him.  
"There's a storm!" Tamahome retorted.  
"What are we gonna do??" Tasuki ran around nervously, like an idiot. "I can't swim! I hate water!"  
"Remain calm, Tasuki. It's the only way. Our fate is inevitable, but still remain calm, there is hope." Chiriko patted him wisely.  
"Ahhh! Where d'ya come from? And intelligent all of a sudden?"  
"Please, I take that very seriously." Chiriko blushed.  
"We must gather everyone! No da." Chichiri commanded.  
"Where's Miaka?" Tamahome yelled.  
"In the kitchen. She's totally oblivious. Humph." Nuriko muttered. "Idiot."  
"Mitsukake! Chiriko, Tamahome! Chichiri, Nuriko! Come here!" Tasuki shrieked, although most of them were right next to him.  
"We're right here! No need to yell!" Nuriko and Tamahome covered their ears.  
"Well this is the moment.no da." Chichiri whispered and they huddled together, eyes closed, waiting for the impact.  
"This is it. We're going to crash." Kurama called calmly.  
"WHAT?!" Kuwabara looked up, and Yusuke stopped punching him.  
"Moron. He's been telling you that for ten minutes. But you were too busy killing each other. Ha." Hiei grinned.  
"ARGHHHHH!" Yusuke growled. "Why us? Damn! I had a lot of things to do before I died the first time.I'm not willing to die again. no way! 


	2. Marooned with a Moron

Disclaimer: I've never wrote one before, but everyone else seemed to have one, so here goes the usual. I don't own any of this stuff except maybe the island. Ok, on with the craziness.  
  
"Calm down." Kurama muttered, his eyes closed, racking his brain for a way to save the motley crew of idiots.  
"But I'm gonna die!" Kuwabara ran to Kurama and grabbed the relaxed fox's collar.  
"Lay off the shirt." Kurama didn't even open his eyes.  
"Poor humans are going to die.I feel somewhat happy!" Hiei cackled, obviously overjoyed at watching a bunch of absurd humans run around in panic and hysteria.  
"You don't care???" Yusuke was all riled up and the aura around him was enough to destroy the remaining parts of the ship.  
"Hey!" Genkai growled. "Don't blow the ship up while it's afloat."  
"Arghhhhhhhhhh!" Yusuke howled in frustration. "DON'T ANY OF YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE DEAD???"  
Blink*  
"Apparently not since we're all here." Hiei snapped crisply. "I'm tired of this game, I'm going to end this NOW. Whoever is causing this havoc is taking my job!"  
"Arghhhhh!" An equally loud scream came from the Suzaku ship.  
"What is it Tamahome??" Nuriko rushed to his side, followed by the rest of the crew, once again forgetting that someone had to steer.  
"Miaka only kissed me twice before going off to eat! Does that mean she hates me??" He wailed.  
"Oh dear, poor Tamahome." Nuriko sneered sarcastically. "We're almost dying here and that's all you care about?? Why I oughta."  
"I don't feel so well." Tasuki lifted the edge of Nuriko's robe.  
Crash* Bang* A few seconds later, the fire bearer is thrown clear into the other wall.  
"Oh dear. I think we might kill ourselves before the ship actually crashes, no da." Chichiri pointed out.  
As the Suzaku crowd beats each other up, whines over love and meditates, the Yu Yu ship leers closer. However, the members of that crew, well, they're not too bright either. The humans are frantic, and hilarious, while the demons and people with an ounce of sense are calmly awaiting their fate. And Soi looms over them, having fun herself. A few seconds later, no one is sure exactly what happened or even how. A few people lie unconscious, namely Miaka, Kuwabara, and Keiko, the ones too dumb to protect themselves. Ok. So a few silly scrapes are all that the collision offered?  
"Well that was an experience." Kurama scratched his head uneasily.  
"Feh. That's all you idiots were worrying about?" Genkai appeared, unscathed, perfectly calm.  
"Genkai, Kuwabara and Keiko are hurt!" Kurama noticed the bodies lying around him.  
"Yes?" Genkai turned around, annoyed. "And that concerns me?"  
"Wait." Kurama counted heads, but without even glancing he knew that Hiei was missing. "Um. Hiei's not here."  
Wink* "And you would know?" Yusuke snickered, getting up  
"Um. Er," Kurama stammered.  
Amused grin* From Yusuke and Genkai. "I counted heads!" He blurted, Yusuke still taunting him. "Ah. I see." Genkai left with the mildly amused grin on her face. Silly boys. Aboard the other ship, that had more conscious members, a hectic attendance was being taken. "Nuriko is here, no da." Chichiri covered his ears. "My DRESS!" Nuriko howled, patting his hair. "That's it! I can take only so much! Soi is really going to get it!" "I like soy sauce." Miaka mumbled. "I thought she was unconscious." Nuriko stopped spasming. "Miaka!! You spoke! Wake up!" A very overly worried Tamahome slapped Miaka rather harshly in attempt to wake her up. "Uh, Tamahome," Chichiri inquired, "do you know that Miaka is unconscious no da?" "I'm just worried, that's all." Tamahome muttered. "You reckless brat!" Nuriko cried. "If you only gave a shit about the rest up us on this junk-" "Yeah, I agree that it's a piece of junk," Tamahome grumbled. "-Like little me, going through that horrible storm, poor Chiriko and Chichiri, and sweet Mitsukake, and well-" Nuriko continued. "Little you, humph." Tamahome interrupted again. "Let me finish you thoughtless moron!" Nuriko was exasperated. "And even Tasuki, throwing up all over the place." He shook his head.  
"Speaking of Tasuki, where is he at the present time?" Chiriko appeared.  
"I do not see him, no da." Chichiri scanned the deck.  
The Suzaku crowd scoured the ship, and Tasuki was nowhere to be found.  
"Such a deep tragedy, no da, we are upset." Chichiri hung his head.  
"All Tamahome's fault." Nuriko sniffed.  
"IF only Nuriko cared about something other than his dress," Tamahome added.  
"I care about all of you equally! And my dress, well, it's prettier than all of you!"  
Tamahome stuck out his tongue, while Chichiri sighed and tried to steer the ship back to Hong-nan over the entire racket.  
Back on the Yu Yu ship, Kuwabara started to gain consciousness, as the gang made progress towards their destination.  
"Please, we must find Hiei!" Kurama pleaded with Genkai, who decided to take over guiding the ship. "What if he's still back there? We can't leave him, we have to have him to fight."  
"No we don't. He's not that important." Genkai snapped.  
"The others are in no condition-" Kurama started.  
"Hey, I'm fine, and Kuwabara is starting to wake up, that big slug." Yusuke patted Kurama on the shoulder. "Hiei's tough, no shark would want to eat him."  
"Where is the shrimp?" Kuwabara rubbed his back, behind on the news, as usual.  
"Well aren't you quick?" Kurama snarled, his calm composure gone.  
"Hey! I couldn't see anything during that storm!" Kuwabara complained.  
"Which seems to be gone now, so maybe you can see again?" Kurama spat back.  
"Oh yea." He blinked hard, thinking. After about a minute, he exclaims, "Hey! The sky's clear!"  
"I wonder how idiots like you can survive." Kurama storms off to subside his anger.  
"You know, he just sounded surprisingly like Hiei." Yusuke glances at the usually serene kitsune.  
Two "survivors" of the collision both swim towards shore. Well, sort of swim, if you can call clinging onto a piece of driftwood and praying/cursing fervently swimming. Tasuki, the one who hates water, hoped to God that he would somehow drift to the island a terrible 100 yards away. Ten feet, away, a riled fire demon watches in amusement. Baka ningen.  
Short Hiei stands up in the shallow coast waters while Tasuki stares. "Wow, that dude must be tall," he thought.  
Hiei walks confidently to land, still staring in disgust at the human in the water. Tasuki sees his height and is in shock. "Howd'ya get on to the land, yer so short!"  
"Observant." Hiei snorted, his arms crossed. "But not observant enough to see that the water is merely 4 feet deep."  
"I knew that!" Tasuki tentatively lets go of the plank, the clutches it for dear life again. "I can't!" He whined.  
"Tsk. I have no time for idiotic humans like you. I must find my friends, who obviously did not reach this island." Hiei started to leave.  
"The ships all left, only me and you were thrown off." Tasuki calls out.  
"Really?" Hiei turns around. "So I'm stuck on this island with no intelligent life?"  
  
Finally! They have reached the island, well sort of. How many chapters will it take for Tasuki to get the tremendous guts to reach shore??? Or how long will Hiei's patience last? The latter one is obviously shorter. 


End file.
